What are you most proud of in your life?

Dear Friends

Yes I have been absent recently, I have been fighting with an old enemy, myself.

I have enjoyed these little notes I have sent to you, sharing thoughts and ideas and sometimes parts of my life. But out of nowhere the mocking Me returned and for a short time I lost all confidence. I actually allowed this accursed doubt to get the better of me. It is the voice from the past, the voice from childhood, all my insecurities poured in and fear stopped me writing anymore. Why would I when I was useless?

Then I saw todays prompt and a rush of emotion flooded in.

Oh I could be proud of being a survivor of domestic violence, I am but that was a battle that left me battered beyond recognition to the person I was.

My children maybe? Well that’s another letter altogether, I love them with a full heart I may not like them sometimes (they are all adults). What I will say is they should have pride in themselves first, a couple have got themselves grounded, and are sorted in whatever they are doing. So that makes me happy for them.

So what am I most proud of in life?

That I was lucky enough to have had a most wonderful Step-Father who even after my mother left him, divorced him, went off with another man leaving her two daughters and their son with him (lots more to the story) he continued to raise us, care for us and do his ultimate best for us.

He was a farmer 18yrs older than mother, he worked hard provided well for us all. I have seen him cry (saddest day ever, but I learnt real men cry) he made us all laugh, and he learnt to cook, fast, very fast.

The first Sunday we had been he was determined we would have a roast dinner as that was the tradition. Success meat roasted along with potatoes. Then the veg was cooking nicely, and Dad asked how do you we make gravy we looked at one another and shrugged 🤷‍♀️ in the 1970s on the farm no we didn’t have gravy granules, I don’t know if they existed . So with um helpful suggestions from my sister and myself we had our first and last slice of gravy. It was the best roast ever. He continued to improve his roasts to the point I can honestly say his were the best I can ever remember.

This story I shared was to give an example of the sort of man he was. No such thing as a problem just a wrinkle to iron out.

I am so Proud I was able to have met this man

My heart is even fuller because I was able to call him Dad

I wasn’t there at the end of his days, somethings can’t be helped, but I do know if he had been told the truth about me and why I had to go he would have understood.

So to my Step-Father I am so proud to have been brought up by you, no one compares to you, sorry for not being there towards the end, I never stopped thinking about you, or thanking you for lessons you taught and the love you gave, without you I don’t know where we would of ended up

Now you can walk across the fields, with all your dogs that went ahead of you,

Taking in the peace and enjoying every sunset. Relaxing with old friends sharing laughter like you used to.

I hope you hear the words Dad I was and always will be so very proud of you. x

Till the next next time

Sending you all a Bucket of Smiles

Kim

Maya Angelou – “Family isn’t always blood, it’s the people..

A flock of sheep suddenly surrounded me. It was a lambush! (Dad would have loved that one)