Hello, how are you? Wow it’s been a while. So tell me what have you been doing and how is everyone?
I miss you, I love you, you are my world. In this life and the next, I will find you and destroy your happiness. He was mine till you killed our love with poison words.
That is why I love writing because WORDS are powerful, wonderful, thought provoking, exciting and so many more emotive thoughts. The written word can enrage or soothe, excite or scare, teach or spread propaganda.
Used in a positive way I find words soothe me as in song words .
I write for children with tales of wonder wrapped in fact
I write for adults of facts woven with artistic licence.
I write poetry to expand and please the mind
I write fact for us to remember lives as they were before all is lost.
I write because that’s who I am.
Write a short story a week. It’s not possible to write 52 bad short stories in a row.”
Hello dear readers of today, have I missed some major news article regarding the future? No I didn’t think so. Let me entertain you with the of life ME
Now we have a word called yesterday, well it’s gone nothing you can do about it, it happened, move on, it’s behind you (in the words of my mental health provider). With a flick of the wrist as if pushing an imaginary past behind her, she dismissed my whole domestic violence background and other major life struggles, as if puff 💨 wow, everything would disappear. Big mistake Woman, I wasn’t alone, I had a friend with me. 1. To push my wheelchair. 2. To help me with memory and stop me from freezing up. 3. Because of my PTSD I am terrible at being alone, no change that I couldn’t be alone when out.
My friend witnessed every word said, Claire has become my friend over the years I have known her, but her official title is personal assistant (posh for carer).
So back to yesterday, gone but Hell and Damnation it is not forgotten, all our yesterdays make us who we are and are learning curves( supposed to be). Also just to be a tiny bit pedantic here but if we are to forget YESTERDAY isn’t that what history is a culmination of all of the yesterdays of the world? 🌍
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. ‘ George Santayana
Ok moving on
Today, the Present. Well each day is a new start and it’s a chance to right wrongs , finish tasks, watch that movie you have been promising you would, but how many people make full use of each moment. We are allotted an amount of time in this world, a commodity that you cannot buy or sell, ok smart arse, yes clocks and watches etc but they don’t lengthen your life. The issue is how many people use their time to the max (I don’t). I leave so much not done even though I have plans, nothing falls into place, the harder I seem to try the worse it gets. I keep saying I just want the house and garden to look like my plans to be tidy not jumbled and bop there is always an issue. We should all be living our best life and I guarantee not many people are.
I am lucky to have a home I know that , I am lucky to have furniture to fill it and I am grateful for what I have. Becoming disabled in my late 40s and being uprooted so many times has made life so difficult. I am grateful I was able to protect my children as they asked, it cost me family and friends and I live alone now, the children have grown and I am redundant as are all parents eventually. I just would have liked my present to have been a little more settled. That’s enough of my present.
Now we go the future , who know what will happen, I don’t see peace anytime soon, I would like to see order in my life so I can concentrate on finish some of the projects I have waiting in the sidelines
I never think of the future.It comes soon enough.” – Albert Einstein.
Truth is I am not looking forward nor backward I am concentrating on now, because, yesterday is past, tomorrow is whisper away, today is all I have here in the present
With love as ever
Kim-Louise
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha
How are things with you today, how is life treating you, please tell me you are wearing a smile 😀 I am sending them out every day for free. They cure so many issues try one on, did you know truly one size fits all.
So here we are talking about these random things and here comes another conversation starter, that’s if you have someone to talk to, so ok you have guessed it I don’t so I talk to you my friend . Random because I could actually be talking to myself. Then again that would be nothing new for me. I have talked to myself through marriages(well that’s how it felt), bringing the children up(we all know what kids are like, yes mum, of course mum, out of sight, what does she know) and it has become a habit now I am alone. Sorry I am digressing from my initial conversation, oops.
So I can sense time passing around me but I am in a bubble an it feels fantastic when doing anything creative constructive or art anything like that. But top of my away with the fairy’s where time does not exist, give me a good book and I happily will stay curled up and read cover to cover and breathe of course. You could call it my Perfect Time Machine, well I can move anywhere in space time and realities in a book and when I take my head out of it, I have moved further forward in time,
“But meanwhile, time flies; it flies never to be regained.” –Virgil
Ok so I am a day late with posting this probably because I fell asleep before I could press post
A legacy – the long-lasting impact of particular events, actions, etc. that took place in the past, or of a person’s life ( copied from Oxford Language Dictionary)
B legacy- an amount of money or property left to someone in a will.
So I am aware of what I would like to leave as my legacy the only issue is, no matter how you go about things someone will always find a reason to put you down. Now ok I will be gone my physical body reduced to dust so why am I thinking about it because I had hoped in death I would have received better than I did in life.
So I am hoping that my written words will have an impact, a glimpse into the world of me. The words no one listened to, a poignant glimpse into the trials of who I was and survival. The comedy of life and observation of the world around me.
The other part of my legacy is my children and grandchildren to carry on their hard work. To carry forth love and laughter out onto this world
The answer to the question is so simple I am both a leader and a follower.
I can take the lead when needed and have done on many times, being Mum, a Boss, Company Representative for a major company handling many contracts.
Then I also know how to take be directions and follow, be a follower.
We all are followers of one sort or another it just depends on how you define ‘follower’. You may be a follower of fashion, the latest music trend or stars. A follower of faith. You may prefer to follow with the team and be a part of the team, not wanting to be the one giving instructions, not wanting the responsibility.
Or as in my case you can happily do the both, sometimes at the same time, and at other times in different ages in life.
I do hope you understand what I have tried to say. Have a wonderful day
What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?
Hello, yes me again.
I just stopped to talk about this concept of living a very long life, which I will add could be considered controversial.
Like all living creatures we have an allotted time span some leave earlier, which is heartbreaking 💔, others live to over 100yrs of age. None of us know when it’s our turn, what we should be asking is ;
What are your thoughts on living for today, instead of putting things off for another day or a time that may never come
Anyway going back to the question, as of today, at the age of 58, I have my funeral paid for and money to pay any outstanding debts that I may have left,
I have a body that is like a battered old car, dented, parts worn, parts broken, non replaceable. My brain is a little like the engine, due to the domestic violence and other matters I have ptsd and suffer with depression so the engine in the car has a lot of faults,electrical issues.
So in my case I personally do not like the concept of living a long life, for me it would be a long painful lonely life.
The argument for it would be if you had no illness and were in a good place, then obviously that would be different I suppose.
I think I am going to stick with my don’t put off anything till tomorrow because we may only have today in which to do it.
Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
Hello my friend,
I do hope you are well?
Now I admit to thinking occasionally about the past because, yes deep intake of breath, I portion blame on myself for allowing a man to act in such a manner toward me, that domestic violence took my mobility away.
Everyone thinks I am bitter towards him. I’m not I am angry at myself for not having the courage to walk away. That is why I look back sometimes at the person I lost Me.
Do I look forward to the future more more?
Not really, I am, if I’m honest a little scared what the future may or may not hold. How much has the past impacted my future it worries me, so I leave the future where it is in the future.
I think I am happiest here, now, focusing on what I have and can do.
Because the past is gone, I
The future is just a dream
What we have is the present, which in all honesty is a true gift 🎁
So I am wasting no more time on regrets or future dreams, I am living for the present
Happy New Year, this is day one of 2025 and the first year I have decided not to make any resolutions.
There are a few reasons for my decision, number one being they don’t last. I actually feel I have enough challenges ahead of me without putting anymore strain on myself.
I have a list as long as my arm some personal, some things that have to be achieved. But nevertheless all are to me big challenges for someone in my position.
When I share parts of my life it’s never for sympathy or compassion, plus I am aware that there are people far worse off than I am. I guess it all depends on where you live in this world as to how you live your life, what your home is like, running water, shops or not.
I live in the UK, my life has been a whirlwind of destruction, from the age of 12-13 till now at 58. I can remember all the good things but sometimes it’s like looking through a mist to find them. Because of the Domestic Violence I have been through.
1. Now my challenges I face are after being moved and moved by police for safety, I have never allowed myself to settle and call a place home, now the children are grown and left to start there own families , it’s time for me to accept this town and place and make it my home. So now I find myself with a place that has some heart in it but nothing is as it should be. My house is a disaster zone not a home. I have this huge challenge to turn this place into the home I want to live in and be happy with on a budget of £5 and two buttons
2. Second challenge. Due to disability I’m limited to what I can move/lift even knowing if I can stay awake longer than an hour so that’s a challenge in itself. I have to find a way of not battling this but working with it , not blaming my ex but taking back control and pacing myself so that if today is a wipe-out ok no worries here’s hoping tomorrow is better. Make no plans and go with whatever I can cope with. I have had a long time to try and manage this but the GP surgery has been less than helpful, until recently. Now with a fresh approach in my mind I’m changing this challenge from a mountain to climb to a hill to come down. As it feels like I have been stuck on a hilltop alone for so long,battling several things now I am coming down and finding myself own way that’s my challenge
3. My third challenge has been driving me mad for a long time because I have been approaching it wrong, I have been writing for as long as I can remember and I have reams of poems, two manuscripts and a couple of children’s books to put forward to look at publishing. Obviously I have to work on them, this is where I derail my own train, so I have been told. Well I am no longer in a train I am on a huge galleon ship floating on the clouds. No rails for me to come off , no water to drown in. Because the whole thing is magical there are no planes or any type of aircraft to disturb me. So my challenge here is to smoothly sail the now still clouds and finish the edits needed as my procrastination will be dealt with in challenge 2. Making this one a much smaller hill to climb I hope.
There are plenty of challenges in life, money, disability equipment i.e wheelchair, money (oh mentioned that already), mental health, ptsd, money 😁, and on it goes.
But that’s enough for today, tomorrow I start afresh, I do hope you are having a lovely day
Thank you for taking the time to read these notes that I write, I feel sometimes that my thoughts fall onto the paper so quickly that it can become a ramble, therefore I will apologise to those that find the trips through my life, my thoughts, hopes and imagination to be a little tangled at times. I call it the excitement of creation overflow.
Now this question of when am I most happy is not as easy to answer as I first thought it would be. Many reasons have halted my answering and I think 🤔 lists are my way forward
What stops me from thinking about,being, happy
PTSD
Depression
Long term health conditions
Chronic Loneliness
Now the above do not stop a person being happy but it makes it harder to think about it. So to help I used my Google photo album and flicked over the last 10 years now I photograph everything and I mean everything, from Christmas to Birthday events and the garden seasons, blue , grey, orange, red, yellow all the different colours of the sky throughout the year. No make that years. The children from teens to homes of their own, grandchildren. Wow memories flowing through my hand, places, people, meals, creations, fun, happy times.
A wish that I wished that I will create just for me
WoW
What a way to find what makes ME happy, many things. Look past all the hurt and petty stuff turn down the noise of todays incessant babble, and there it is
I am most happy when
I am being creative.
Spending time with loved ones.
Enjoying good food in or out
Relaxing in peace
Getting the chance to get out and about
Spending time with my grandchildren (cause they go home and I can rest after)
Taking photos so that I can remember all these wonderful times.
Writing and with that sharing smiles
As seen from under the viaduct
As you can see there is not just one thing that makes me happy there are many and sometimes it’s the simple things like rediscovering old photographs.
Thank you if you got this far if you did drop me a hi 👋 because one last thing that makes people happy, me included is being friendly and sharing smiles.
Bye for now
Stay positive, Stay happy
The Sky at Night
Gnome place like Gnome What a cliche
I hope you enjoy these photos, I was surprised to find I had currently 18,600 photos available on my phone (I didn’t realise) plus all of the ones I have on hard drive oops I think 🤔 that’s deffo a passion
I was going to say the last thing I did for fun was sleep but that’s boring unless you could see my dreams.
So I have sat and thought hard about this well not that hard because being creative process to me is my fun and play in one. Like being a child again, this time no adult saying you can’t mix that or use this or a grumpy art teacher saying stop 🛑 I don’t like your work, I am free to do whatever
Be Creative with a smile on my face, I am so in love with art 🖼️ and creativity that I have a selection of paints next to me in my front room and if I suddenly feel an inspiration to paint, I have it all to hand.
Dreamland of another time.
A mix of acrylics, wooden reliefs, reindeer moss, mirrors, gems and twigs. Finished with some lights built in. Just imagination gone wild
This may be childish and not to people’s taste but I did it for fun and art should be fun, at least it’s not a banana stuck to a wall with some tape and sold for a fortune.
So this started me into my deep thinking and playful phase and my take on the tree of life and I had so much fun doing this .
The spreading family tree.
My version of the tree of life, as the fruit of the tree in this case acorns,(nuts) fall and spread they are still connected. Life goes on, but family ties are stronger than you realise.
I loved this one it’s proudly hung in my bedroom. I don’t paint for anyone as I have a huge downer on my achievements re other people seeing them but I gifted my son a small painting of a turtle-duck (he likes this Japanese Anime) at least it must resemble one because he knew straight away what it was and seemed happy. I usually love what I paint make create, maybe one day I will be able to show some pieces or not
After all I just enjoy the playing
Till next time ⭐️
The oh so little Turtleduck
I painted this for my son who is in his early 30’s a character from an anime cartoon he likes
Bucket of Smiles 