Hello, it’s me, wow what a time I have had. Would be good to say I enjoyed it but no the opposite is the truth. The story thus far:

After feeling drained and under the weather since Christmas, on a Sunday a few weeks back my girls had a disagreement, one more vocal than the other. Actually, if I am, to be honest, the one being very vocal, using extremely harsh words, and the shouting was awful and this aggravates my PTSD, I had to raise my voice to make her leave the room, which always upsets me and brings on headaches. Later that day I felt like a balloon burst inside my head, I heard the noise and slowly things faded away. I shuffled to my bed and spoke to one of my girls, then the next thing I knew I had Paramedics surrounding me. I found it difficult to understand what was going on or to make them understand me, I knew who my family were so why did they keep saying she won’t recognise anyone. Decision made hospital was required, that will stay with me as the night of the patient outpatient overload.

Worcester Hospital A&E was groaning, bricks and mortar being forced apart at every join, ambulances arriving, bodies piling, no room to be seen. Corridors full, Ambulances stood still, triage to be assessed whilst still on board. Nurses feet were dashing, Dr’s stethoscope flashing and x-ray hadn’t slowed down for hours.

I lay on this trolley saying take me home I’m ok, nothing wrong with me this day, my family just shook their heads and said mum just lie still. Hours passed trolleys moved, patients came and some they went. Still, I lay there, the nurse then Dr, CT scan I think you need, results come back you have had a little bleed, well that took the smile off my face and made me want to cry “not again” “I’ve been there before” but I smile and said what now then Doc, Admittance to the stroke ward when a bed is free but the hospital is busy not easy, so sorry, he said and I felt for the staff, deeply .

You have had a stroke – NOooooo I am only 51

No stroke It is an aneurysm(a blood clot) in an unusual place – wow I had this 8 yrs ago

it has burst no

this how the conversations were going and after 5 days I was allowed home with no answers and just a QE Birmingham app will follow this up now.

Stranded, Isolated, Scared, Concerned.

My discharge sheet is a bunch of contradictions and some bizarre medications that I definitely don’t take. So I wait for a letter with what may or may not be a ticking time bomb in my head. Because the NHS dying, the nurses are run off their feet and work long hours, lay quietly the conversations are amazing, one nurse left because she earns more in retail and working fewer hours, others work agency because the pay is better. A nurse travels from Bristol to Worcester several days a week, she is an agency nurse I will say a fantastic nurse at that. Where are our nurses? who knows. Our NHS is in need of some medical help, I met some fantastic nursing staff but when you there and A&E is overflowing literally out through the doors, both sides of the corridor is full and some of the side corridors it is not acceptable to the staff or patients.

These problems have been exasperated by the closure of local A&E department in other hospitals again due to the ever decreasing money pit available to the NHS.

The question I ask myself is who is to blame?

is it the Government should they give more money to the NHS?

is it the influx of immigrants putting a massive strain on an already tight budget?

is it the mismanagement of funds within the NHS i.e. too many managers, not enough workers?

There has to be a way to bring our NHS back to life. Peoples health is suffering because hospitals are not able to fully do the job they need to, in many cases its patch up and ship out, obviously, I am talking about my experience in one hospital and times I have been told of others having issues and Gp’s well that’s another story.  ..

So here I am PTSD spiking, head is aching, snow is melting, and I am so so cold but I am going to leave you with a smile and just a thought, yesterday is passed, tomorrow is just a promise, but today is here so enjoy, I am so grateful that I am here and breathing.

#WorcesterRoyalHospital #hospital #nurses #NHS #stroke #aneurysm #PTSD